Disconnect the Dots
by bebitched
Summary: Claire’s sense of stability is threatened when a ghost from her past pops up and Charlie’s demons threaten to make a reappearance as well. Complete.
1. Intro

Title: Disconnect the Dots

Pairings: Charlie/Claire(focus of story), Jate, Sun/Michael(slight)

Summary: Claire's sense of stability is threatened when a ghost from her past pops up- and Charlie's demons threaten to make a reappearance as well.

Rating: T (for safety)

Note: This entire story is the second in a series of four (Shannon-centric "A Whiter Shade of Pale" is already up), which can be read alone or together but it makes more sense if you read them all.

Spoilers: Up to Exodus

* * *

Claire scanned the isles lined with stacks of brightly colored cans and jars. A familiar staple caught her eye and she plucked the pickled ham up and chuckled to herself. Gagging at the mere thought of ever having any thing resembling pork ever again, Claire quickly set it down and moved on. She felt a slight tug on the hem of her sundress, and she glanced down. Aaron stood google-eyed, looking so tan against the white floors of the grocery. Until landing back on the mainland, Claire doesn't suppose he ever saw the sterile color. By the time he was old enough to register much more than funny looking blobs, all things that once sported the shade had faded into a dingy bastardization of the color.

"What is it baby?' she cooed, crouching down to his level.

He simply held up a chocolate bar and whined, "Wanna!"

"I don't think so, it's almost supper time" Claire reasoned clearly, snatching Aaron up and settling him onto her hip. She set the candy on a near-by self.

"No!" he cried, stretching over to the chocolate and squirming in her embrace.

"Alright honey, but you can't have it until after you eat an actual meal"

"Okay mommy" he agreed. She pecked him on the cheek and set him down.

Toddling along, Aaron scurried ahead. Claire sighed. Being around all these strangers made her nervous. On the island you didn't have to worry about kidnappings. Or at least not from the people you could see. While being ecstatic about not having to worry about crazy French women (or groups who were so mysterious they couldn't even come up with a more descriptive name than "The Others") stealing her child, Claire couldn't help but feel that being back in actual society meant a whole new set of dangers were waiting for them. Trading a common cold for cancer. Or maybe it was the other way around, who knows.

The shopping cart turned easily under her touch as she rounded the corner. Claire was so used to either having to drag things through the sand or them snagging on protruding roots that she had almost forgotten what manning a vehicle with polished wheels on flat floors felt like.

Keeping one eye on Aaron, who seemed to be picking up everything he could reach and smelling it (for who knows what reason), Claire approached the next aisle with what could only be described as caution. She walked slowly and carefully, glancing over her shoulder with every step. By the time she reached the item she was looking for, her hands were sweating and felt oddly clammy. As her fingers closed around small box, steam outlined them on the glossy surface. Her breath hitched in her throat as she traced the letters on the front. Pregnancy Test. By now she had memorized every curve of the print and each detail in the background. God, did she never think she'd be back in the position again, or at least not with this twisty feeling in the pit of her stomach. The last time the stick turned pink she'd sworn she would do it right the next time. But here she was, standing with her arm outstretched, with her thumb gripping the box so tight it crinkled, yet her other fingers nearly afraid to leave any trace at all. She almost wanted to laugh as it occurred to her the irony of the situation. She was pregnant when she'd crashed on the island and pregnant when they were rescued. Claire allowed a small smile to touch at the corners of her lips before dropping the test in the cart and strolling away.


	2. Chaos

A/N: I know the first chapter was short, but it was initially conjoined to this one, and I decided to split them up. I hope you enjoy this one!

* * *

Claire tried to keep busy while she waited for the results, flitting around the apartment folding strewn garments of clothes over her arm as she tidied. Since moving in with Charlie, she'd discovered that his messy tendencies on the island weren't just the heat getting to his head. She figured that when he was a popular musician before the crash he could make a mess and leave it behind, move on to the next dressing room.

Or he'd have one of his groupies clean it up. Claire shivered at the thought. But when she hooked a pair of boxers at the end of her finger she shook it off, the item landing a few feet away on the sofa, and made a mental note to talk to him about the virtues of cleanliness.

Claire recognized a silky shirt between the couch cushions as Shannon's and next to it lay one of Grace's plastic sandals. She picked them up and placed them by the door, hoping she would remember to take it with her the next time she visited them in their new house. They had only stayed with them for two weeks, but the house seemed oddly quiet without the extra feet stamping around. Also she recognized the sad look on Aaron's face at loneliness from missing his playmate. Aaron, Grace and the rest of the 'island children' had for the most part grown up together and they weren't used to each other's vacancy.

She knew how that felt. She had spent nearly a half-decade with the same people and it was strange without them constantly around to ask advice. She vaguely recalled what it was like to go to a real pediatrician and how strange it felt to not see Jack's reassuring eyes staring back at her.

She could see it in Charlie as well. He missed having the others around to call out song suggestions as he strummed lazily on his guitar. Claire tried to help but he always complained that she only asked for "girlie songs."

Part of her envied the other woman, how they had been able to go through all of their pregnancies' with their makeshift family by their side. She knew that it was more dangerous on the island with no hospitals, anesthetics, ultrasounds, but she still wished that she hadn't been the first delivery. Each time after Aaron's birth became steadily more calm and eventually every one had at least a basic knowledge of how to deliver a baby. Even Sawyer. So she rubbed her stomach and hoped some of them would come back for her, to help her through this. She didn't even know if she was indeed pregnant for sure, but she still missed them. She hoped this feeling would pass in time, but she knew it never would, at least not completely, so she continued to clean to take her mind off it and made for the bedroom.

She pulled the sheets off the queen sized bed, deciding to strip it and change to a more adult set. Her mother had loaned them a set of bedding from her childhood that was too small for the make of the bed and was patterned with cartoon-ish flowers and a character from one of her favorite programs when she was young. The mattress fell slightly askew, and Claire struggled to turn it right again. That's when she noticed it.

It took her a moment to recognize the substance inside the small baggie that lay of the bedspring. She'd had friends who did drugs when she was in high school, but it was mainly small time stuff; marijuana, a little LSD. Never heroin. So when she picked it up, felt the power shift between her fingers, it surprised her somehow. When the counselors talked to them about it at school they made it sound like it would bite them or make their hair catch on fire. But it felt like anything else, tangible, not illicit in any way.

When she had digested this chain of events enough to actually have forethought to what this would mean, her first feeling was disappointment. How could Charlie do this to himself, to them? She had trusted him, hadn't asked for his old friends to come in to meet her before they went out on the town, hadn't asked him if there were drugs where they were going. She had given him more credit than that.

Then her thoughts went to Aaron. Charlie was the only father he knew, how would he feel if he was suddenly not there? Then, with a lurch of her stomach, this thought went directly to the logical assumption that she had made without thinking; was she going to leave Charlie? Aaron would be devastated, true, but what kind of example would a druggie father be? Then her brain flipped it over. What kind of example would she be if she just gave up? Things hadn't worked out with Aaron's real father either, would Aaron hold that against her someday? The ability to provide stability, which she apparently lacked.

It was at that moment, with these thoughts buzzing around and Claire thoroughly confused, that the timer dinged from the bathroom. Claire glanced up, Charlie's heroin stash in her hand, and took the two small steps to the bathroom. From the doorway she could already see the color of the pregnancy test that sat undisturbed on the sink.

Pink.

Positive.

She could feel the headache coming on already.

Then, Claire laughed. It came out as a giggle at first, a small spurt of random frustration that could find no way out but through inappropriate and inopportune humor. But then it grew. The thoughts kept coming, the visions of what was to come that ended beyond the next few seconds because she really had no idea what she was going to do. Then they went to the plane crash, the island, an invisible monster, the polar bear, falling in love with a fallen rock star, giving birth in a tropical jungle, getting kidnapped by a mysterious band of natives, getting rescued, the perfectly timed synchronization of finding the stash with finding out she was pregnant. It was all so utterly ridiculous. If anyone ever told her five years ago one, forget all, of the things that had happened to her over that time, she would have ask them how much they had had to drink and offer to call them a cab home. And yet, here she was, her past a tangled mess of campfire stories and her future blank. So she laughed. She laughed so hard tears streamed down her face, forced out as a reflex, she supposed, from sheer emotion condensed into salty droplets that streamed down her cheeks and dripped down her chin. After a few seconds the initial irony and subsequent humor left her, and then she was just crying.

She sniffed when the phone rang and tried to make a joke to herself about how nothing could happen that could be worse. Who could it be, Death ringing her up to tell her that seven days from now she was going to die? Then she thought that the way her life was going, that wasn't so absurd, and that she better not tempt the fates. Her hand stopped over the phone when it occurred to her that it could be Charlie and that she had no clue what to say to him. Claire figured that of it was Charlie, she could just hang up and give him a taste of what he was going to get when he got home and was actually in throwing range. That vase by the window looked pretty hefty.

"Hello?" her voice was shaky. She waited while the person on the other end paused, then stuttered.

"Hello, Claire?"

"You're the one who called me, who is this?" she replied rudely. She figured what the hell, she just found out she's pregnant and that her boyfriend is back on drugs so she had a right to be a tad upset.

The man on the other end took in a breath, as if all his worst fears had just been realized, and fumbled again.

"Claire, it's…" he took another breath, as if trying to gain the courage, then, " It's Thomas and I was wondering if I could see the baby. You know, our baby."

Just then Claire could feel a small hand curl around her calf and she glanced down. Aaron had left a brown stain on her leg and his face was totally covered in chocolate, as he beamed proudly up at her, from the candy bar they had bought at the store. He had obviously decided not to wait for dinner when she had been having a mental break down in the bedroom. It looked now as if that was just the beginning.

"Claire?" Thomas called softly to her, although she barely noticed.

She needed to sit down. Without pulling up a chair she slid quietly to the ground. Claire glanced at the phone disgustedly and hung up quickly, instead settling her chin on her hand and sighing.

"Bloody hell."

* * *

So things are starting to get a wee bit complicated, aren't they? Next time: Charlie comes home and gets a taste of what Claire's like when she's moved past upset and straight to pissed off.

Remember to take just a few minutes and review please!


	3. Just Listen to Me

Sorry about the long wait, but I got a little off track with my writing schedule when I got a cold. I hope the next one won't take so long to get up!

A/N: This chapter has a little bit of stronger language than as before, so be forewarned.

* * *

The apartment was dark.

Claire sat quietly at the kitchen table, her lip trembling as she went over scenarios in her mind and her gaze remained determinedly fixed on the door. She had been stuck there, pondering and waiting, for a few hours, and in all that time it had gotten dark and the lights were still not on. A clock chimed on the hour somewhere distantly, startling her, but it didn't break her concentration. Anyone observing this scene would probably be convinced that Claire was trying to psychically set the doorway on fire or telekinetically lift it off it's hinges, but no. The door was just the only place she could set her stare without being reminded of Charlie and their life. Their life that he had cast aside nonchalantly.

The door handle jiggled and she could hear a key sliding into the lock, the click of the mechanism and the jerk of the door. She set herself right in the chair and wiped away phantom tears, her fist curling almost protectively around the two objects in her hand.

"Guess what we got in the mail today?" Charlie backed his way into the apartment, his hands occupied with some letters that he now flipped through. "It only took two months for Jack and Kate to finally sort themselves out and get engaged. Well, four years on the island and two months, but still. The invitation says the ceremony is in May." His smile was still in place when he turned around, although it faltered once he saw her. "What's going on?" A ghost of the grin remained, optimistically hoping that it could stay and not fall to a frown. When Claire didn't reply, his lips gave up and settled into a disgruntled line. "Is something wrong?" Charlie stepped closer, something about the silhouette of Claire's figure and the shadows of their home cast on the moonlit table disturbing him. He almost shuddered, but repressed it. He reached over and flicked on the light switch, artificial flooding the room. Claire blinked, just once, from the change but still didn't speak. "Claire? Is something the-"

Claire held out her hands at that moment, and his gaze immediately darted to the plastic baggie resting in her palm, then to her face. Claire tilted her head to the other side and he followed the line of sight to her other hand. A pregnancy test.

"Wanna choose which one we're gonna discuss first?" If it wasn't for the tone in her voice maybe he would have thought she was being playful. She wasn't. She was just letting him pick his poison.

His mouth dropped open and he clapped his hand over his lips, trying his best not to scream. He had fucked it up. He had fucked everything up.

"Oh God, Claire, I'm so sorry." It came out as an almost whisper before he clenched his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut.

"You're sorry?" His eyelids snapped open at the tone in her voice, although the sight that met him was somehow far worse.

She had risen slightly from the chair, her fingers digging into the edge of the table and leaning forward on her hands. Her face and settled into some twisted version of a sneer and her blonde hair swayed from the slight rocking motion that her shoulders made.

"Is that all you have to say? You're sorry?"

"Claire I-"

"Shut up!" Charlie winced when she barked at him, but he didn't back away. He tried to explain himself carefully.

"Please, just let me explain!"

"Explain?" Charlie bit back his words at her voice, wishing he hadn't opened his mouth at all. "There is no explanation for what you're done. Do you even realize it Charlie?"

He raised his head slightly at his name, but quickly ducked it again.

"You lied to me. You made me trust you, and then you lied to me. You had a family here. People who love you. Why wasn't that enough for you? Why!" her voice rose to a level almost inhumane and this time Charlie kept his eyes downward easily. If the emotion in her voice was any indication of that which shone on her face, he couldn't bring himself to look. To see the pain he had caused. "What am I supposed to do now Charlie, huh? I had to start all over once before, and I can't believe that you would do this to me, after I told you everything I went through with Thomas." Claire paused in hesitation and Charlie glanced up, concerned. Yelling he expected but silence? Silence was worse. Claire bit her lip and looked away before cracking a twisted smirk. "And that's a funny story." Charlie furrowed his eyebrows, clearly confused about what she was referring to but she continued as if she hadn't noticed his eyes trained on her. "He called. Thomas. He said he wants to see Aaron. I suppose he wants to be a family, now that he thought we were dead for four years. But it's too late for him and it's certainly too late for you."

This time Charlie spoke, but strained himself to keep his voice calm, even, although panic made it waver, "Now wait just a minute. I fucked up royally, I know that, but can't you just give me another chance?"

"No Charlie. I'm done giving out chances. Thomas left me after promising to keep me safe, after promising to protect me. But he was the one I needed protection from, and the same goes for you. Thomas left me, but I'm not going to give you the opportunity."

It was then that Charlie noticed the bags beside the breakfast table. That's when his heart began to race. "Just hold on. Just think about this Claire! We can talk about this, why don't you calm down for a second." Charlie took a step forward, his hands coming down to rest on her shoulders, trying to steady her or maybe himself, but she smacked them away.

"Don't you tell me to calm down!" she poked a finger into his chest, hard, and walked past him with the bags. He hadn't noticed her pick them up.

"What about Aaron?" he took a stab, hoping to just make her stop so he could think of a way to talk her down. In that moment all he needed, all he wanted, was to keep her from walking out that door. It seemed to work, for the moment, because Claire paused mid-stride. She didn't turn to look at him. "What Aaron needs is a father, not for someone else to abandon him. Where is he?" Charlie's voice cracked, although he barely got the last word out before Claire slowly pivoted. Her expression was easy to read by the time she had turned 90 degrees, none the less the full 180, and he knew he had crossed the line by the side of her face; the way her jaw clenched, her lip curled, her eyes narrow.

"How you dare talk to me about Aaron! Yes, unfortunately you're the only father he has ever known and it will hurt him, just like it hurts me, but don't you blame it on me. This is your doing, your fault, no one else's. Every tear, every curse, every time his heart aches, it is on your head!"

Claire took four slow, determined, calculated steps before pausing by the side table that they kept their keys and change in. He heard her snort before she reached out her hand and her fingers curled around an object inside. It was only after she turned to face him that he knew what it was.

Her key.

She threw it at him violently and with as much force as she could muster in her tiny arms, but it achieved the affect. Charlie scrambled to catch it, a reflex, and by the time he had straightened, the door was closing behind her.

Charlie thought he heard her whisper "Goodbye" before the door clicked shut, but he couldn't be sure.

With that small noise, the small movement, the small effort in actually took to close the door Charlie lost the love of his life, his child and his chance at salvation, all in one fell swoop.

* * *

Next time: Charlie tries to get Claire to come back but she'd not exactly receptive to his pleas. Look for another appearance of Shannon and her brood. 


	4. Comfort Food

This chapter is from Shannon's POV for a change, because I needed her humor to keep it from becoming too dark for comfort. But if you don't like it don't worry; I'm going back to Claire's after this.

Oh, and I'll be leaving next week for a town in the middle of nowhere, in a state in the middle of nowwhere. Hence, no internet access. However I'm hoping to get another chap up before then and the next one will be on my to do list while I'm there so I might have a few more by the time I get back. Hope you enjoy this one in the meantime!

* * *

Shannon's hand closed around the handle of the plastic grocery bag that sat in the trunk of her car, the sound so artificial and foreign to her ears that she mentally cringed at the reminder of what had changed. She had never been grocery shopping before a month ago. When she was a teenager the food had just magically appeared in the refrigerator and she never really gave more than a passing thought to the process that went into the selection; the different brands, the price comparison, whole wheat vs. white, it was all so utterly frivolous. But now it actually mattered and Shannon wasn't sure what disturbed her more; that she never thought about it before or that it actually concerned her in the present. Of course now she was shopping for more than herself, something that she was reminded of with a jump of her heart as she recognized the hooded figure that approached her. 

"Oh hey Charlie." She tried to sound as inconspicuous as possible and she hoped he didn't notice the waver in her voice or the way her muscles tensed. She tried to remind herself that this was just the same clueless, wouldn't-hurt-a-fly Charlie, but since what Claire had told her, she really wasn't sure what he would do.

"Shannon," he greeted shortly, and she was relieved to know that her voice had revealed nothing of how nervous she felt, at least compared by the obvious tremor in his. On closer examination, Charlie wasn't exactly looking so hot. Or maybe, as he was sweating uncontrollably, that was the exact problem.

"Are you feeling alright? You look kind of…" she search for the words to put it nicely, "… like crap."

Charlie attempted a smile but failed.

"Hey, have you heard from Claire?" Charlie rubbed his eyes, and then gave her this look that took her totally off guard, like he could see right through her and would know if she lied.

"Why?" Shannon crossed her arms across her chest and decided maybe being evasive was the best course.

"Well she and I got into a tiff about a week ago, and I don't know where she is. I'm starting to get worried."

Shannon inwardly sneered, thinking that he had just spoken the understatement of the century with calling their catastrophic blowout a mere 'tiff'. But she didn't bite like he wanted, to confirm that she was indeed in contact with Claire.

"I'm sure she's fine. Maybe you should just give her some space."

Charlie twitched.

"I just-" he reshifted on his feet and rotated his shoulder, clearly uncomfortable under her scrutinizing gaze, "- I really need to see her. I need to talk to her. She keeps me from going completely bonkers and I just… I really need see her." Charlie averted his gaze and scratched a phantom itch on his cheek.

Shannon repressed the urge to feel sorry for the man, but she knew that Claire was her friend and by the law of girlfriends she was required to take her side. So she compromised.

"I'll tell her you stopped by."

Charlie looked at her then, strangely, like she was the one tie to the world and she was sailing away, cutting him off, and also that he doubted the validity of her statement. But he didn't call her a liar or persist, he just nodded, seeming satisfied that she was going to do all that she could, and walked away, faintly waving goodbye to her little girl who was still in the front seat of the car. Shannon was suddenly very glad Aaron had elected not to come along on their outing.

Shannon released a sigh she hadn't realize she had been holding in and grabbed as many bags as she could, motioning for Grace to follow her. The girl followed obediently, unlike herself as a child, and waited by the front door as Shannon struggled with the bags to unlock it. When she stepped inside it unnerved her how quiet it was, considering that the house wasn't empty. The she heard a sniffle from upstairs and that, quite disturbingly, quelled her fears. After all, that's was the grand total of what had been issue from the woman since she had arrived last Thursday night, bags in hand. Claire had dropped Aaron off with her a few hours before hand, but Claire had been so distant and hurried that Shannon barely had time to get in any words, none the less the reason for her last minute favor.

Shannon pulled out some essentials that had been specifically bought with her friend in mind, and carried them upstairs, not quite sure why she was trying so hard to not make any sound on the staircase. It seemed like it was disrespectful some how, to remind Claire that there was life still continuing outside of her realm of grief and confusion. She knocked softly on the bedroom door, calling out her name, more as a warning and less permission to enter, before pushing her way in. At first Shannon thought the resistance to her entry was because Claire had barricaded the door, but then as she thrusted harder she noticed that the hindering was not intentional, but from the meal tray that Shannon had left just inside the door last night, still uneaten.

"Claire?" she called again, and this time received a 'humph' as a reply. She traced the sound to the bed where she guessed the lump of covers was actually a person. If she squinted she could see a lock of blonde hair, coming from the blankets, like a lone tentacle from some unseen creature. Shannon sat down carefully on the edge of the bed, slowly peeling back the covers to reveal… socked feet and a blonde rag doll that she guessed was from Claire's childhood.

_Great. Now I have to play Where's Waldo with which end I should actually be speaking to_.

Shannon growled under her breath and hoped Claire didn't notice.

This time Shannon had it right, and when she loosened the blankets from Claire's face she didn't cringe or try to hide the tear soaked eyes; she just stared blankly ahead, almost catatonic.

"Claire, I brought you something to eat." Shannon pulled from behind her back a jar of peanut butter and Hershey's chocolate hoping one or both would cheer her up. And another box of tissues if neither worked. Instead Claire just stared at the jar of peanut butter, the glazed over expression telling Shannon that she was having a moment. A memory moment. So she patiently waited while it passed, like all nostalgic moments pass, after which you move on to the present. When it did Shannon put the jar into her outreached hand, Claire ate it silently, one finger-full at a time, and waited until it was the right time to speak.

After a few minutes Claire looked less sickly and more alive, so Shannon approached the subject carefully. Or she at least tried.

"I saw Charlie."

Claire's eyes widened and she stopped eating, but she didn't speak. No words so therefor no protests to Shannon took that as a sign to continue.

"He looked really awful." Shannon hoped that would cheer Claire up, and was fully prepared to go into every unflattering detail, but Claire didn't seem like such things mattered, so she moved on the angsty stuff. "He says he misses you. That he needs to see you."

Claire squeezed her eyes shut but a few tears leaked out despite the barrier. Shannon would have hugged her, but she wasn't exactly in the position to. So instead she smoothed back her hair and whispered the only words she could think of.

"I'm sorry."

And that was enough for now, knowing that someone, someone who could understand the pain of loosing the man she loved, and then it happening again, was there for her.

* * *

Next time: Claire and Shannon meet up with the rest of the original female LOST cast, and discuss Claire's problems with Charlie. 


	5. Girl Talk

A/N: Just as a reminder, this story **IS NOT UPDATED TO SEASON TWO**. So don't be surprised when some details (like Shannon being alive, the raft) aren't the same as they played out on the show. This little detail will be **VERY IMPORTANT** later in the story and especially the next installment, which will be Sun-centric. Also, if you're a little confused (this is especially directed towards Victoria to Worthing who asked about Shannon) read the story set before this, Shannon-centric "A Whiter Shade of Pale", for more of an explanation.

* * *

Claire flipped through the dress rack absentmindedly, being too distracted to notice it was the same one she had seen five minutes ago. The plastic covering them crinkled and she sighed, being utterly exhausted. Claire had never realized how much crying took out of you and she plopped down into the nearest armchair in defeat.

Shannon had convinced her to come with the rest of the girls to the upscale bridal boutique, promising that helping Kate would take her mind off her own problems. Claire had to admit that seeing the extremely uncomfortable look on Kate's face as she walked into the shop, seeing all the ruffles and pearls, was almost worth the effort of getting out of bed. Almost. Truthfully it was Shannon's hint that with being in a room with her long-time girlfriends, there was bound to be some heart-to-heart conversations, and that she could use the opportunity to get some advice from those she trusted. So, Claire came. She saw. She talked. And now she was ready to go home. But Shannon had driven her and now she was stuck in the endless conveyer belt of frilly dresses being shoved under Kate nose as she fidgeted.

This should be her. Claire tried to repress the thought, putting in it's place those of happiness for her friend, but it kept popping up. She wished this was her picking out a wedding dress, having her ass kissed by saleswomen, deciding between white and off white.

"Don't you have anything plainer?"

Kate's voice shook Claire from her thoughts and she glanced up just in time to see the woman giving Kate a horrified, open-mouthed look.

"Plainer?" she asked incredulously.

Shannon patted Kate's shoulder reassuringly, giving the saleswoman a pitying and understanding smile.

"Why don't we just look around and see what we find." She sounded like she was speaking to a child in a toy store full of playthings the kid didn't want.

Kate nodded exasperatedly and followed Shannon to the other side of the store, which wasn't actually that far away, all the while fiddling with the engagement ring on her finger.

"Hey," Sun came to sit next to Claire and she smiled, "How are you?"

"I'm fine." Sun gave her a skeptical look and Claire relented, "Well, I'm not fine. But I will be. Honest." Claire took a deep breath, repressing whatever emotion was threatening to bubble to the surface, because her emotions had been random and sudden lately so there was no telling what would come out. Claire blamed it on the hormones. "And you?" Claire used the best tool at her disposal, deflection, and turned the questions on her friend to take the focus off herself.

"We're doing alright. Bae is adjusting well, although I'm not sure the same could apply to me." They shared an understanding smile before Sun continued. "I just hope that Hurley will be fine with the children. He's never had them all at once before. At least not alone."

"He'll be fine. Hurley has always been great with the kids." Claire reassured, although she bit her lip in uneasiness.

When Shannon had suggested that Hurley watch the kids while the girls were out shopping, she had been joking. But he had taken the challenge and he was home with them now. Aaron, Shannon's daughter Grace and Sun's son Bae had all been born within a year of each other. They had formed what could only been described as a gang since they were old enough to move, let alone set traps for the grownups with rope and leaves and scare the younger children with their rendition of 'smoky', as they referred to the monster. Claire could blame Locke for the traps and Sawyer for the nickname of the creature, not to mention the occasion curse word that spilled out of their mouths, but the bond was all their own. And when all three were together… well, danger was sure to follow. Claire could only imagine, and then cringe at the forethought, of what they would be like as teens, let alone adults. Which is why she was uncertain that Hurley could handle them. Of course they were still in awe of television, so maybe that could distract them for awhile.

Kate groaned and both Sun and Claire looked over at her to see Shannon putting on a surprisingly convincing expression of patience to cover that of annoyance. She held her hands at her side, although by the way her hands squeezed almost imperceptibly ever so often Claire could tell that she was imagining them curling around Kate's throat.

"They all look the same!" Kate's voice was raised, although struggling to keep below the level of yelling, "They're all white, why does it make a difference! Hell, you can pick it out for all I care!" Shannon gritted her teeth, clearly flustered that the luxury of this was lost on Kate.

"Just focus." Shannon said. Kate closed her eyes, maybe trying to go to her happy place, although Claire wasn't sure that Kate actually had such an escape. "Now. When you picture yourself walking down the isle, what are you wearing?"

Kate shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know." Shannon moaned and Kate for once actually looked bothered by the fact that Shannon was helping her and got only disappointment in return. "I'm sorry I just… I never had those childhood fantasies. I never even glanced at bridal magazines. I dreamt of being a fighter pilot or in the peace corps. Not a wife."

For a second Shannon seemed to understand Kate, that this wasn't her dream, she just sort of fell on it. Fell on love. She nodded, letting Kate know that it was okay.

"I still think you're being difficult." Shannon cracked a smile and so did Kate, then the tension was gone.

"Do you need help?" Claire was surprised as the words left her lips, thinking that she really just wanted to mope. Maybe Shannon was right; what she needed was a distraction. Kate nodded earnestly, holding up two dresses for comparison.

"Strapless or spaghetti straps?"

"I'd go with this one." Shannon said pointing toward the one with thin straps, "You don't want to be remembered as the bride who popped out of her dress."

Kate looked horrified and put the other one away as quickly as if it were diseased.

"So…" Kate started, turning her eyes on Claire, "How have you been holding up?"

And just like that, the attention was back on her. Claire wished they were still talking about wardrobe malfunctions.

She shifted under the gaze and quickly looked away to fluff the pillow beside her before placing it behind her back.

"I've been just great."

"Bullshit!" Claire glared at Shannon but she seemed not to notice. "This is the first time you've left the house in a month."

Claire flushed embarrassed, and dug her nails into her lip while she studied the floor.

"You shouldn't be ashamed. We've all been there. When Boone died, when the raft never came back, when Sayid was killed… we all have felt it. Loosing someone, even if they're just a friend is not something you can just get over." Claire noticed Shannon bite her lip when Kate mentioned Boone, and harder when she said Sayid's name. Sun also reacted, but when she mentioned the raft instead. Kate blinked, hard, when the same words left her lips, but then again she wasn't married or involved with anyone aboard. But Kate pushed on, "The others, they might be dead, but you shouldn't undervalue what you're going through with Charlie."

It was then that she felt it.

Like something twisting tight inside her, a sharp pain jerking upwards. Claire barely noticed when she bent over in agony, clutching her stomach, because it was so intense, didn't answer when the women surrounding her asked, panicked, if she was alright, didn't say it was nothing to worry about as they phoned 911. All she could feel was the pain, the fear, the confusion, and then… darkness.

* * *

Te-he, nice place to leave ya hanging for a week, huh? But don't worry, I'll be back from my trip in no time.

Next time: Claire and Charlie have another "discussion", although this time with less yelling and more of a freeze-out coming from Claire. Just two more chapters to go until 'the end'!


	6. Wants Vs Needs

Sorry for the long wait, but I hope this chap is okay. Remember to review!

* * *

The jello in front of her wobbled unnaturally, jiggling from side to side as Claire poked it. Food wasn't supposed to move on its own. But she was in a hospital and she supposed hospital food doesn't apply to the same principals as other food does. So instead she jabbed the meat-substitute product, twirling some of it around her fork and letting it slosh back onto the plate. She was starting to lose her appetite. Then the nurse came in and she pushed the tray aside, not wanting her to know that she had been playing with her food, something mothers everywhere advise against, herself included.

"So Ms. Littleton," the nurse started, checking her chart, "How had you been feeling today?"

"Just fine. Can I go home today?" Claire asked, pleading in her eyes and voice.

"Ms. Littleton-"

"Call me Claire. Ms. Littleton is my mother."

"Alright then. Claire, you've just undergone major surgery. A person doesn't just bounce back from that." Claire scowled but she continued. "Have you thought any more about seeing one of our therapists?"

Claire glanced up then and gave her a look that said 'oh, please'. "I don't need counseling, I need to go home. Why do you insist that I need a shrink?"

"You lost your baby. The medical part is taken care of but you still have to grieve. Many women who go through ectopic pregnancies experience depression, like any woman who has a miscarriage would. We want to make sure you're okay" Claire tried her best to interpret her tone as concern rather than condescension.

"I can't afford to take that time. Yes, I lost my baby, but I still have a son at home who needs me."

Just then a light knock came at the door and Claire glanced up to see Jack standing in the doorway, fist tapping the doorframe.

"Jack. Please come in." Claire invited, giving him a grateful look and doing all she could not to shoo the nurse out of the room. She left without a word, only shooting raised eyebrows in Claire's direction. "So what brings you here?" Claire questioned Jack once they were alone.

"Just checking up, seeing how you're doing. Kate should be by in a few hours, something about the wedding planner getting on her back about choosing a tablecloth. Or something. Honestly I think everyone else cares more than the two of us combined. We'd probably just elope but… but there's my mother."

"Say no more." Claire nodding in understanding. She didn't have the best relationship with her own mother and could certainly understand how controlling parents could be.

"So." Jack sat on the edge of a chair neighboring the bed. "How are you holding up? I talked to your doctor and he said you were doing well. Stubborn though."

Claire smiled, blushing only a little bit. "Well, they won't let me go. Shannon says Aaron is fine, but I still want to get back to him."

"Can't he come by to visit you here?"

"I don't want him to see me like this. Sick. He shouldn't have to be scared for me, he's too young." Claire definitely went into mother bear stance as she spoke of protecting her son.

"Aaron has seen a lot worse on the island." Jack reminder her, several instances coming to mind of when the boy had seen more than his share of blood and violence.

"I know. That's the problem."

Claire heard some commotion just outside her door by the nurse's station and Jack rose from his chair to see what the trouble was. A figure almost knocked him down as Jack reached the entrance, and it was only until he turned that Claire could see who it was. She blinked.

"What are you doing here Charlie?" It was Jack's voice that spoke, though it had been Claire's own thoughts.

Claire diverted her gaze to beyond Charlie, where Shannon was standing looking flustered and apologetic.

"I'm sorry Claire, I just thought he should know. I didn't think he'd actually come" Claire stared at her wide-mouthed, not quite sure what to say. But Shannon was correct; he did have a right to know.

"Fine."

Jack raised his eyebrows questioningly at her, but she nodded in response.

Charlie glanced up at Jack as they passed each other, and he looked as if he was going to greet the other man but quickly shut his mouth as Jack glared at him. Charlie was certainly unpopular among the castaways at the moment.

Once the room was cleared Claire turned to Charlie, her features clearly hardened. "What do you want from me Charlie?"

"Is it true what Shannon said?"

Claire bit her lip and averted her eyes to the fold of the bedspread, but nodded slowly. She thought she heard a sound coming from Charlie's direction, like a mix between a whimper and a sigh.

"I'm sorry. I just wish I could… do something to help." Claire tried hard not to notice the desperation in his voice and she was sure that if she glanced up the same would be written on his face.

"You _can_ do something for me. You can leave me alone." Her jaw was locked and her voice forceful as she spoke, trying to convey the strength she wished she felt.

"I tried to go off it." His response was evasive and surprised Claire. She would have thought had would have given up by now. Claire glanced up at him questioningly. "The heroin. I tried to quit on my own."

"Is that why you looked so awful when Shannon saw you? She said you were sweating and trembling…"

"Yeah." Charlie actually seemed embarrassed. "Withdrawal isn't kind."

"You said you _tried_."

Charlie put on the face of a sad puppy dog, sheepish and regretful. He could see where this was going.

"I tried. For you."

Claire paused for a moment. Charlie had made an attempt to stop using, to go off the heroin for her, to become the man she expected him to be. But that wasn't enough. 'Tried' meant it didn't take, meant he was still on drugs.

"It doesn't work like that Charlie. You can't fix yourself up because you want me back. You have to want it, or else it's just a matter of time until you go back to it." Claire's eyes picked a place on the wall to steady her gaze. Looking at Charlie made her confused, and the last thing she needed was more confusion.

"But Claire… I can't do this without you."

"I'm sorry Charlie, but you can't replace one addiction with another. You don't need me, you want me. Learn to stop depending on something, on someone."

"Don't you need me?"

The question hung in the air, unanswered, for longer than both could bear.

"It doesn't matter if you need something if you can't have it. I will learn to live without you. Unless…"

"Unless?" He sounded so hopeful, so desperate.

Claire groaned, covering her eyes with her hand and massaging her eyelids. "I don't know Charlie. I don't know anything for sure anymore, everything is so twisted and confusing. You confuse me Charlie."

He got the strangest look on his face then, a mixture between apology over causing her grief and optimism that maybe this wasn't the end.

"So maybe you could forgive me?"

Claire's eyes darted around as if figuring out some complicated math equation before finally adhering her gaze to Charlie's face.

"Maybe. I just need some time, some space, away from you to think. I need to be able to breathe again."

Charlie nodded, pretending to understand, but perhaps he really did get it. Maybe he did understand that she needed to be without him in order to ever have hope of being with him again.

* * *

The next will be the last chapter and will take place at Jack and Kate's wedding several months in the future. I hope you read the warning about this not being updated to season two because or else it is going to be majorly confusing. 


	7. All In Good Time, Pt I

So it's been awhile. A long while. But I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

The day of the wedding was beautiful. The sun was shining, birds were singing and Kate was… freaking out.

"Just breathe." Shannon instructed, "Whatever you do, don't forget to breathe."

Kate's face contorted as she struggled to do just that, then gasped in a breath. The whole room let out a sigh.

"What if I can't do this? What if I get up there and it doesn't feel right? Through out this entire thing I've told myself that when I got up there, everything would feel alright, all squishy and fluffy inside, like it was meant to be, but what if that moment doesn't come? What if I can't go through with it?" Kate's words came out in a hurried rush, sputtering and squeaks, something Claire might have expected out of Shannon, but not Kate. She was always so calm and sturdy, like she had everything under control. Claire guesses everyone had their Achilles heel. For Kate it seemed to be commitment.

"If it were me I wouldn't be worried about _me_ bolting." Shannon muttered under her breath, but not soft enough.

A look of complete horror came over Kate's face and Claire could practically see the wheels turning in her head. "Oh my God. I never even thought about Jack! He doesn't seem like the type to walk out on his wedding but it's the ones you'd never expect that stab you in the back when you don't expect it." Kate seemed like she might leave the bridal tent to go find Jack and throttle him for something he hadn't even done yet, but instead Kate deflated into the nearest chair. "I'm always the one that runs. I guess this is the thing they call karma."

"Kate, Jack isn't going to run. Everything will be fine." Claire spoke slowly and took Kate's shoulders in her hands, forcing Kate to look her in the eye. "See? Look." Claire pointed toward the open flap of the tent where Jack was clearly visible straightening Hurley's tie and grinning like a fool. Yet Kate still looked unsure. "Jack loves you. You love Jack. Now, go up there and get married." Claire ordered. Kate bit her lip.

"Okay," she nodded, flipping the veil over her head as if it were the visor on a battle helmet. "Let's get married."

Claire took another slow step in time with the music down the aisle, Aaron's hand firmly clutched in hers. He squirmed as every second he caught sight of something shiny or colorful that probably looked like candy to him, but she'd given him a firm speech after he'd made a grab for that woman's earring at the supermarket last week. They had safely gotten to the altar when Claire slung him up into her arms, to assure that he wasn't going anywhere during the ceremony. It was as she adjusted him in her arms that she glanced into the audience and saw him.

He was sandwiched between Steve and Locke near the back aisle, trying to be unseen. Claire quickly looked away, but glanced back at him every few seconds out of the corner of her eye during the vows.

Charlie seemed good. Gone were the dark circles under his eyes, the nervous twitch, the glazed look. He was lucid, clean, smiling even. She was so busy trying to find what was wrong with him, the loose string to pull, that she almost forgot to follow Jack and Kate back down the aisle after the ceremony was over. Claire focused on walking in a straight line, keeping Aaron firmly in her arms and Hurley's arm looped around hers as she passed Charlie and the stare that bore into her back.

She looked on as Jack and Kate danced in the center of the floor, smiling and giggling as they whispered to each other in voices soft enough that only each other could hear. Jack must have said something funny because Kate tossed her head back and laughed, then rested her head on Jack's shoulder as her giggles subsided. Jack chuckled and gripped her back tighter, making it clear on observation that he was still just a little bit scared of losing her. For a second Claire blinked and it was her and Charlie swaying to the music, her laughing at his silly jokes, their life spread out like an unmarked map in front of them. But then she blinked again and their happily ever after was gone, replaced with Jack's mother cutting in to dance with her son. Kate rolled her eyes behind to woman's back and Jack stifled a laugh, but Sun swept Kate up quickly to introduce her to someone Claire didn't recognize.

Claire sighed and turned away, trying her best to look fascinated with the salad on her plate and the tomato skewered on the end of her fork as she squished it. She glanced back up and smiled at the image of Aaron and Grace, Shannon's daughter, trying to waltz together as Shannon taught. Aaron kept stepping on Grace's feet and the little girl mumbled something about big clown feet stomping on her designer shoes. Grace was definitely her mother's daughter.

Claire was so busy hiding a smile behind her hand at the miniature pair that she almost didn't notice someone slide into the chair next to her.

"Hello, luv."

Claire sucked in a breath, squeezing her eyes shut and hoping that it was just Jack's affectionate British cousin who had been sent over here because she looked lonely. She steadied her self on the flowered tablecloth before glancing up. But it wasn't Jack's distant overseas family member. It was Charlie, and Claire found herself repressing a look of relief.

"Hey Charlie." She wasn't sure why the words came out so timid, after she had practiced running into him so many times in her head. She was going to be firm, consistent, strong. Of course every scenario in her mind had been on a rainy street corner, not at a romantic, gushy wedding of shared friends. Claire cleared her throat, hoping the noise would wake her brain up. "How have you been?"

"Good or… productive at least."

"What have you been up to?" Claire glanced over at Aaron, hoping he wouldn't run over and throw out any possibility of getting valuable information from this conversation.

"I've been in rehab." She quickly looked up at him. "Yeah, I got in touch with my brother and he set me up with a good facility in LA. They said I could leave after two months, but I stayed there until last week."

"I'm really proud of you, Charlie." She meant the words and for a moment Claire could feel herself love him again without it hurting.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm doing much better, but I don't expect anything from you. I know all the stuff I put you through and I wouldn't even think for a second of doing it again. I just… thought you should know." Charlie stood to go, but Claire grabbed his hand before he could turn and leave. Charlie glanced down at her hopefully.

"Do you want to see Aaron? He's really missed you."

Charlie smiled, and Claire got the feeling it was the first in a long time.

"Daddy!" Aaron practically screamed from across the dance floor, bounding over in less than three steps and latching onto Charlie's legs.

"Hey turniphead." Charlie laughed awkwardly, ruffling the boy's hair.

"Can you come home now?" Aaron's question came muffled against Charlie's pant leg, but understandable enough to hear.

Charlie glanced over at Claire, a question in his eyes, but Claire looked back with equal uncertainty. She had no idea what this meant. Or, no matter how cliché, where they would go from here.

A shriek came from across the room and everyone stopped what they were doing to glance over at Sun. Claire gripped Aaron's shoulder in one hand, and clutched at Charlie's hand in the other.

Sun had one hand over her mouth and her eyes were wide, just as she catapulted herself into a man's arms none of them had seen since the raft carrying four of their people set sail just under five years ago and never returned.

Michael.

* * *

I know I promised that this would be the last chapter, but I lied. Unintentionally of course. But this is at the top of my to-do list, so hopefully it won't be much longer.


	8. All In Good Time, Pt II

A/N: So this is the final chapter for this story, but remember there's two more sequels to go. Enjoy!

* * *

Claire stared blankly at him. Michael. Here. Back from the dead… or so to speak. 

"How are you… what are you… where have you been?" Sun almost sounded like a scolding wife, the shock gone and the questions remaining.

"The raft didn't work." Michael said, now speaking to the whole group.

"Gee, really? Because I just figured we had simply slipped your mind as you were sipping pina coladas in Fiji." Everyone turned to look at Shannon. "Sorry. It just came out."

"No we didn't forget. The Others came." The crowd gasped. "They took my son, they took Walt." Claire, Shannon and Sun almost immeasurably hugged their children closer. "The raft was… destroyed. We floated back on debris, made our way through the jungle. We never could find our way back to camp." He bowed his head, as if asking for forgiveness for failing to bring rescue.

"Why did it take you so long to be rescued?" Jack spoke up from beside Kate, taking up his usual leader role in this group.

"After the ship spotted you, they started to explore the island. Found us 20 miles down the beach."

"Us?" Sun asked hopefully.

"Sorry geisha." A Southern voice came from behind Michael. "We never found Jin after he went overboard."

Sun's face fell, even though she never really expected to hear anything different.

"Sawyer?" Kate's voice sounded small, drowned by the weight of the situation.

Jack glanced down at her, an emotion not quite concern but close drawing like a curtain over his features.

Sawyer stepped forward, tipping an invisible cowboy hat in her direction. "Freckles. Long time no see."

Kate threw her arms around Sawyer, almost winding him before shyly stepping back. Sawyer's hands lingered on her hips briefly before dropping them to his side.

"I'm not sure I deserve the hero's welcome, but I'm certainly not going to turn it down."

Kate smiled before taking three small steps backwards, back to Jack, back to her marriage. Jack draped an arm around her shoulders and Kate slid an arm around his waist, leaning her head against his chest.

"It's good to see you Sawyer."

Jack coughed. "It's nice to have you back man." He awkwardly patted Sawyer on the back, and Sawyer looked equally awkward in return.

Silence cast its shadow over the wedding party before Hurley cleared his throat.

"Dudes. This is a wedding, not a funeral. We should be partying! Two long lost castaways have returned. That's a good thing."

The music stared up again, leaving those on the dance floor— Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Sun and Michael— in awkward silence while the rest of the group was consumed with whispers.

"Who are those guys?" Aaron asked from below, and Charlie and Claire glanced down at him before looking at each other, knowing there was a long explanation ahead of them. Claire heard Grace pose a similar question to Shannon a few feet away. Shannon covered her eyes with one hand, a sigh escaping her lips.

* * *

Hours later, nearly all the guest had left, after approaching the two newly arrived men and offering a place to stay and an upcoming visit to their home. None of them seemed satisfied with the answers they had provided in the small snippets of conversation that had been overheard. Most of it had come from Sawyer, considering Sun had dragged Michael away from the group early on to explain the kid, the wedding and probably her hair cut choice as well. 

Jack and Kate had left for the bus station, neither feeling like flying, and must have been halfway to Mexico by then. Sawyer was sitting at the bar, getting seriously shitfaced by the look of it. The bartender had become his new best friend after actually believing Sawyer's claim that he wasn't driving home and deciding not to cut him off from the free booze.

Claire was cleaning up, even though they had hired someone to do that. It had become habit to her with a messy four year old son.

Charlie came up behind her, dropping a napkin onto the pile she had made. Claire smiled at him, at Aaron snuggled in his arms, completely asleep.

"Zonked out, huh?" she questioned, turning around and resting against the table.

"Poor turniphead couldn't keep his eyes open after all the excitement. Said he was going to stay awake until something else exciting happened, but I think he's down for the count."

Claire ran her fingers through Aaron's blonde hair, lingering over the short, soft hairs on the back of his neck before dropping to Charlie's arm.

"Thank you for helping me with Aaron."

Charlie nodded. Claire couldn't tell that his skin tingled under her touch, but it was. Her hand came up to cradle his cheek, and he tried not to lean into her soft fingers.

"You're a good man, Charlie." He smiled before readjusting Aaron in his arms. Claire's hand fell to her side, turning back around to stack more dishes.

"Why do I feel like there's a 'but' after that?"

Claire paused before glancing over at him and flashing him a shy smile.

"No 'but'. Just truth."

Charlie grinned back.

Claire noticed Sun emerge from the tent in which all the bride's maids had gotten ready before the ceremony, and where she had taken Michael.

"Hey." Claire chirped, glancing up at her tired friend. "How's Michael? Did you catch him up on everything that's happened?"

Sun nodded. "He's overwhelmed by everything. It's a lot to take in at one time. I'm going to take him home with us, he'll be better in the morning."

Claire smiled. "Good luck with that. Call me tomorrow? I want to hear everything."

Sun agreed, bidding Claire goodbye and giving Charlie an almost approving nod.

They heard Bae cry, presumably from the backseat of Sun's car from being woken up, but it ceased quickly. The rev of the car engine could be heard and it receded into the distance. Claire sighed, taking in the warm late-spring air with satisfaction before turning back to Charlie.

"So if I take you home, will _you_ be better in the morning?"

"Can't make any promises." Charlie chuckled, although there was something deeper than humor behind his words. "I'll try though."

Claire searched out his eyes in the dimming light of sunset, trying to make out what she needed to see. She needed his unspoken word, if not that he would be perfect then that he would never stop trying.

For her family.

For his family.

For their family.

"We'll see." she said simply, knowing he would understand. She would be trying too.

Claire gripped Charlie's arm lightly as they made their way to the car, Aaron in tow.

They set Aaron down in his carseat, gently buckling him in without much movement, then sliding into the car themselves. Charlie started the engine and Claire rested her head on his shoulder. She breathed him in, took in his warmth.

This was really happening, he was finally ready to be the father Aaron needed and had the stability that Thomas could never have provided. She knew he wasn't exactly where he needed to be, but she could get him the rest of the way with the end just in sight.

"Take us home Charlie."

Charlie smiled, glancing down at Claire, back at Aaron, then out at the sunset.

It might not be happily ever after, but it was a start.

* * *

Well that's all folks! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please take a moment and drop a review, it's greatly appreciated. 

Coming Spring 2007: _For You_, the Sun-centric sequel to _A Whiter Shade of Pale_ (Shannon-centric) and _Disconnect the Dots_ (Claire-centric).

Sun had started a new life, away from her father, away from the ghosts of her old world. But nothing stays buried forever and Sun begins to realize that to embark on a new future she must unearth the past. - _For You _summary.


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